Updated: Apr 5, 2022
My life changed when I drank my first cup of sacred plant medicine, Ayahuasca 10 years ago. I believe that everyone should have access to this medicine, even if they do not currently have the funds necessary. Visionary Fund is here to support journeys like this one.
My Ayahuasca Journey Begins
When I first heard about Ayahuasca, I was in college. I was immediately drawn to the impacts it makes to one’s soul and the answers that people have received through this healing medicine. To awaken the “god molecule” within. At the time, I did not understand the full beauty, profoundness and knowingness of this gift of this ancient plant. I was still coming into my own being, and it was not yet the time for this gift to be shared with me.
A week before the blood moon three years out of college, I kept seeing the signs everywhere. I saw “DMT” in several places, randomly scattered throughout my life. License plates, billboards, signs. I met up with my friend Henry, a few days after I began seeing the signs and he told me that he actually had a contact that was getting some DMT soon. I was ecstatic. I thought that this would be my opportunity to have my taste of the divine. I knew that my twin flame had this experience, and it also drew me towards it. To fall into a deeper realm of understanding. After hearing more about his source, I realized that it was more of an acid trip than a spiritual experience that I was seeking. I let go of that opportunity, and allowed myself to be with the universe.
During that time period, I was going through an intense time of purging and understanding my place in the universe. Sparked by a divine soul heartbreak, I was allowing myself to feel the pain and energies that were holding myself back, letting go and releasing it. I was allowing myself to surrender to the universe.
My best friend Arti who trained in India to be a yoga instructor, told me about an Ayahuasca ceremony that was happening in Long Island that she found out from her friend Chris soon after. At first I dismissed it, and thought that I did not want to go to far in--that I was already deep in my understanding of the universe. It kept coming up in my life, and it called to me. She told me about the person who was going to be hosting the ceremony.
Her name was Maima and she was a Shaman from Columbia that would be here for a limited time to spread her wisdom and light. If it was going to be with anyone, I had a feeling and comfort knowing that it was her. I was going through a spiritual transformation of seeking and more deeply understanding, and it aligned with what my intentions were on this Earth. I then set the intention that I would attend the ceremony. Arti and I have had numerous spiritual experiences together, and something to me felt so right about being there with her for this ceremony, and understanding where I was on this journey. We were both on different but parallel spiritual paths.
I kept receiving messages from the universe about letting go and understanding, and I honored all that came to me. I followed the diet that we were told, and every night I meditated on the profound journey that I was about to embark on. No meat, no cheese, no spices--just raw food and water.
The day of the ceremony came, and I felt it. I knew that I was about to embark on something that there was no turning back from. A level of understanding that is a blessing to achieve and have a taste of. We allowed the day to be, reminding ourselves of our written intentions, and carrying on with the normal nuances of this human timeline. I spoke to my friend Hardy, who helped me through a lot of experiences and guided me towards the right people, and he reminded me to keep my intention in mind on my journey. My intention was “To have a deeper understanding of my place here in this beautiful universe. To open my mind and eyes to all possibilities without fear. To feel the limitlessness of this beautiful universe. To understand how we are all connected. To see how we are all operators of the universe.”
As we all started the journey together, we gathered together in unity and expressed our intentions for our journey. They explained to us the rules. No talking. No electronics. Be one with the experience. Allow yourself to go inward. Talk to the spirit of Ayahuasca and allow her to guide you through the journey. Welcome positive energies only. There was another person at the ceremony, the owner of the house who made his own brew. Before we started the journey,
Maima and the owner had a confrontation about who’s brew they would use at the ceremony. The owner of the house was in his ego, believing that his brew was the best, and wanted to guide the ceremony. Everyone wanted Maima’s juice instead--this negative energy set the precedent for the night, although all in good intentions. The ceremony began and Maima’s juice was consecrated; it was ready. We were ready. The universe was ready. People began to go up as called, and drank the cup.
After I drank the cup, I immediately went outside, to be with nature. I brought my sleeping bag and a fuzzy blanket. Soon, all 17 people drank their share, and we all sat around the fireplace waiting for the medicine to take effect. One after the next, people began to purge.
I recall restating my intention in my head, and allowing mother Ayahuasca to take the wheel. I was sitting in a chair with my blankets and sleeping bag while I gazed into the fire. I told her that I wanted a gentle and loving experience, and for her wisdom to be revealed to me.
As it started to set in, I began to feel the purge. I remember purging, and looking down into the bucket, and seeing a swirl, almost like a bottomless dark energy that laid in the bottom of the bucket. It was my insecurities. It was my doubt. It was my uncertainty. It was everything holding me back from my highest good. It seemed to be all swirling around in a pool of dark energy, and I let it go. I felt the negative energies leave me, and all of a sudden it all began to come at me--the universe. The OVERWHELMING love that I had for the universe. I began to feel it, and I began to understand. It took my entire body over, all at once. I threw my blanket and sleeping bag onto the ground. I had to be with the Earth.
All my eyes were wide open, all three--and I began to see and understand everything around me. I felt the grass, and it felt almost not real--like it was just an illusion on this Earth. I respected the spirits that it contained, and felt it all pulsating through my being. I remember looking into the flowers and trees around me, and I saw the spirits that laid behind them. There were spirit masters everywhere, all guiding us on our journey. They were there. They were always there, and I was finally able to see them. I saw the love that they had for us and all around us. There were colors that I could not describe with words, and energies that were connecting everything. There was a sound that I never heard before, a rhythmic beat that connected us. My senses were elated.
What is Ayahuasca?
It is a divine juice of consciousness. It is an opportunity to see a glimpse of the divine--to understand your true light of being. It allows you to see and understand. To get to that level you must leave your ego behind to see all that is offered by the energies in this universe. You must purge all that does not serve you to allow room for your highest good--for the greatest level of knowingness and understanding.
The Visionary Fund is here to support psychedelic healing experiences that help others to ascend and step more deeply into their inner light. Journey on with strongest intentions.
Light and Love,